Halloween is just around the corner and what better time to list the top ten monsters of all time. This is not your ordinary list of Dracula, King Kong, Frankenstein or Wolfman. This is a true pop culture scary ass list.
10. General Mills monsters – Count Chocula, Frankenberry and BooBerry are not that scary but they are formerly very tasty. The taste for all these monster cereals has changed over the past ten years garnishing a frightful taste. Note to General Mills – use the original ‘80’s formula of sugary sweet, this current version is uneatable.
9. Mothra – who could have imagined a moth to be so frightful, but that’s what we have in Mothra the insect from the Godzilla films.
8. Jason Vorhees – one of the first horror movies I saw, Jason wasn’t a monster until the second Friday the 13th movie. His bitch of a mother was the original killer. Bonus: always loved Jason as we share the same name.
7. Mike Wazowski – a laughable character from Monsters Inc., and the upcoming Monsters University film. He tried to be scary.
6. Dr. Zaius – not your typical monster when considering immediate scares. However since Dr. Zaius is in charge of advancing ape knowledge and led the Planet in suppressing humans he gets a high ranking. Bonus: featured in the Broadway show Planet of the Apes the Musical. “I hate every chimp I see from Chimp-pan A to Chimp-pan Z.”
5. Jabba the Hutt – Jabba, a slug-like alien from the two sun planet of Tatoonine, is the prime symbol for obesity and corruption. I’m not really sure how he was scary, just fat, ugly and lazy (must have been wealthy) but he was pure evil. Jabba was first featured in The Return of the Jedi but did appear but was later cut in Star Wars (in a much different form). Bonus: I never had the Kenner Jabba action figure, this was the figure that never appeared on my Xmas wish list.
4. Deliverance Hillbillies – If you weren’t scared by these back wood yokels that were looking for a back door entrance than you may never get scared.
3. White Walkers (aka the Others) – “Winter is Coming,” from the Game of Thrones series, these reanimated beasts kill anything in their path. The Wall was built to keep them out but they are descending upon it again. Bonus: it is said some humans have mated with a White Walker. Nasty.
2. The Smoke Monster (aka The Man in Black) – from one of my all time favorite shows Lost. The Smoke Monster floats around the island and has the ability to project images of the past, I’m talking about you John Locke. Bonus: I still can’t figure this show out, but I sure love Kate and fish biscuits.
1. TIe: Jerry Sandusky / Kim Kardashian – enough said.
There you have it. A spooky treat. So what are your favorite monsters of all time?