Monday Morning Burn

1. I think those individuals ringing the bell and collecting money for the Salvation Army should smile more. I know it’s not the best job, it’s cold and most people ignore you. But you just seem miserable and are scaring off more money than you are bringing in. You need to work harder for those $.47.

2. I think I have spent a total of one year of my life waiting in line at the deli counter. Why the heck are the deli workers so slow? Why are the lines that long? And why to people feel the need to order 10 pounds of lunch meat a week? Doesn’t it go bad? “Yes, I would like the nitrate sandwich with the sodium spread.”

3. I think the first annual Squirrels Hate Me Holiday Hits Playlist CD give-away was a bust. The Playlist was great and we had lots of readers for that post but not many interested in the CD. I’ll figure out a better give-away next year. Perhaps an evening of crumpets and egg nog with yours truly while we ponder the wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson.

4. I think Rutgers football has no identity. For two weeks the jugular was exposed and they could not finish it. Those two loses cost the Scarlet Knights $10 million and a trip to the Sugar Bowl. Now instead they will play in the Russell Athletic Supporter Bowl. Way to make NJ proud.

5. I think the NFL Red Zone channel is a great investment. I would have died if the Jets versus Cardinals game was the only game on TV in my house, as it was in most households in the New York Metro region.

6. I think Robot Chicken is the most under rated show on TV. Check it out on demand. 100% money back if you are not satisfied. I think I could be a writer for that show.

7. I think, contrary to my wife’s opinion, the movie 21 Jump Street was quite funny. “Infiltrate the dealers, find the suppliers.” So proud.

8. I think that I am the only person who appreciates the whimsy in the songs I sing. I continually hear a constant barrage of “you’re so weird” from family and co-workers. I should have been a jingle writer, but I have no musical ability. My first jingle, written at age 11 drew rave reviews; it was a song about the product “Bag a Bug.” One my best was  the jingle I made up for the Ron Popeil Pasta Maker. I will never forgot my college roommate Mean Gene watching the Pasta Maker infomercial waiting for the song to actually play and thinking that it was a fully produced song for the show (“I’ll make your pasta fresh today.”) But I think the best was the song I wrote and sang on stage in High School. It was a Christmas Chemistry rap (it was a holiday show and I did for my Chemistry classes, shortly then followed with the 12 days of chemistry) that I sang in front of 500 high schoolers, three times. I think I was high. doctor MC Silf in the house.

9. I think that I may not be able to wait until the holiday break to begin reading book 5 of a Game with Thrones, a Dance with Dragons. I may need to download for a flight this week. And just maybe dream that I am flying on the back of one of Daenerys’ dragons.

10. I think I am at a loss on Xmas shopping for my wife. I hope she likes socks and glue. Any other ideas?

11. I think I will post my top 10 Holiday Villains list this week.

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One thought on “Monday Morning Burn

  1. My husband also likes Robot Chicken and the Red Zone. Didn’t you buy someone else you love glue for Christmas – in days gone by?

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